I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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