It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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