dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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