The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think my fart just growled at me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
