Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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