How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
