i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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