but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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