last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.