just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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