This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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