chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
