I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize