she was so not down for the gang bang
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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