I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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