GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize