That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
