So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
