...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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