i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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