For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
