i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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