Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
