Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
