We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
