I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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