Your tits are I can't wait for
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
