Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
