please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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