U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
