so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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