okay pat passed out under dana's car
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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