forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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