Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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