It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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