Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
