i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
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Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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