it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
