i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
