the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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