belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
