in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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