Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
