new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
