I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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