Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
