i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
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dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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