We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
not ubering you a puppy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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