I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
