if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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