Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
