No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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