The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
