If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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