Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
