last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
