Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
