I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you never un-have a 4some
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
