Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
