Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you never un-have a 4some
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
